From tonight's Apprentice,

"Synergy Corp.," the team that won the first task of the season, was rewarded with the opportunity to a Q&A lunch with Mr. Trump himself. Apprentice Michael--the young, African-American go-getter--asked, "Can you describe how it feels to be a brand?"

Trump answers, "I like not to think about things like that, it puts too much pressure on you. What I do to get rid of pressure is to say: 'It doesn't matter!'"--making his trademark gesture--"..It makes life a little easier! We think it's so important what we're doing...but if you really think about it, you have an earthquake in India where 100,000 people die, you have some other huge problem going on in Africa where so many people are (grasping) ..being killed, um, viciously. When (collecting himself) you really think about it...what we're doing really isn't important!"

Amen.

This little speech smacked me upside the head and woke me up. I was like, "I've heard that speech before...Oh shit! That was a George W. Bush speech!" How did he trick me for so long? I guess I wouldn't allow myself to truely realize just how stupid W. is until I heard come out of Donald Trump's mouth! Either I was in denial or am an idiot--hopefully denial, but probably both.

I have to rethink things.

Anyhow, not only did he not in any way answer the question, but then he goes on babbling some bullshit 'man of the earth' pressure release. Excuse me Mr Trump, but I thought the way you avoided the 'pressure,' was to not think about being a 'brand?'


I can no longer watch this nonsense show--it's permanently done! The entire team nodded along and applauded his incoherent, bullshit answer. Ball lickers! No one with any shred of dignity could ever apply to be a contestant on this show again! No one wins. Either the producers will edit it to make you look like a total ass, or--worse!--you "win" and work for one!

Are you always scrambling for Husky Football tickets each week in the fall?

Have you always wanted the prestige of sitting in third year season tickets on the south side at Husky Stadium?

Are you a sado-masochist?

If you answered yes to all those questions, you're already pre-approved! I currently have two season tickets available on the south side at Husky Stadium roughly three-quarters of the way up the stands at about the 20 yard-line. I only have two days to get these renewed (which I'd really like to do). I'd buy the tickets myself, but I'm in Boston, as you probably all know. Price for the two seats is $690, and if any of you take me up on this, I'll go ahead buy the seat cushions for you.

If any of you are interested or know somebody who would be, shoot me an email, and we can get something worked out.

"No, guys. It's not gay. It's Parisian. Meaning I got it in Paris."

Like there's a fucking difference.

The only thing gayer than that picture is this one.

You never know, though. This guy could be a trendsetter for the huge upcoming turtleneck fad. The two men holding hands on Capital Hill this morning were wearing them.
I noticed a lot of people in New York, especially the bankers and dentists, have big noses, too. So that's catching on.
What's next?

Will he be back?

Jodie Sweetin, aka "Stephanie Tanner," recently admitted to becoming a meth user because she became "bored." I am no expert, but crystal meth is a bit beyond a gateway drug.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Entertainment/story?id=1564779

Stardom's a bitch.

Per Seanos' request, here's something funny and entertaining.

Report: Muhammad Sucked at Sports

According to a report in the current issue of “Sports Magasinet” – the leading Danish sports weekly – the Prophet Muhammad, was an embarrassingly awful athlete during his life. The article comes amidst weeks of violence throughout the world after a Danish newspaper published cartoons depicting the founder of Muslim.

The article claims Muhammad was terribly clumsy and was repeatedly cut from soccer and cricket teams during his life, even though he prayed tirelessly in hopes of finding success and acceptance in athletics.

“Muhammad might have been able to start one of the world’s biggest religions, but he couldn’t even dribble a soccer ball without falling down,” the article reads. “And when it came to cricket he was regularly picked last or not at all. That’s a legacy Muslims have to accept – the founder of their faith was a pathetic athlete.”

Quick poll:

Who helped pay for the Superbowl keg?

Who helped pay for Jillian's?

We should all be very proud....
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/17/marijuana.harvest.ap/index.html

Way to go Spokane!

Because the media is still stuck on Dick Cheney's hunting accident, I am sure many of you have not heard of the bigger White House blunder this week: President Bush's rubber stamp of the purchase of 6 major U.S. ports by the United Arab Emirates.

Here's a little refresher on the policies of the UAE:
1. They continue to recognize the Taliban as the ruling government of Afghanistan.
2. They do not recognize Israel.
3. They support Iran's nuclear program.
4. They laundered much of the money to support al Qaeda terrorists, including the 9/11 terrorists and the terrorists who bombed the USS Cole off the coast of Yemen.

We cannot sit idly by and allow this to happen! I implore all of you to call, write, or email (as I did) all your Senators and local congressmen to ask them to please use their voices and their powers of oversight to stop this risky purchase!

It's one thing to poorly guard our boarders--which we do!--it's entirely another thing to hand over our keys to the front door!

As a Republican, one of my core values is national security. This purchase, arranged by the President's treasury secretary, is something I cannot support! It is an outrage that we go around the world fighting for our national security, yet we allow the homeland to be completely susceptible to terrorist attack by our own free will!

Please take the time to contact your representatives that this is not acceptable, it's necessary for our protection.

Here is the contact information for some of our representatives:

Sen. Maria Cantwell-D Washington
http://cantwell.senate.gov/contact/index.cfm

Sen. Patty Murray-D Washington
http://murray.senate.gov/contact/

Rep. Dave Reichert-R WA 8th District (Bellevue, Sammamish)
http://www.house.gov/reichert/contact_dave.shtml

Rep. Jim McDermott-Communist WA 7th District (Central, West, South Seattle, Vashon Island)
http://www.house.gov/mcdermott/contact.shtml

Rep. Jay Inslee-D 1st District (Bainbridge, Kirkland, South Snohomish County, Redmond)
http://www.house.gov/inslee/contact/index.html

Rep. Rick Larson-D 2nd District (North Shohomish, Skagit, Whatcom, San Juan Counties)
http://www.house.gov/larsen/contact/contact.shtml

Rep. Adam Smith-D 9th District (South Sound; parts of South King, West Pierce, and North Thurson Counties; Olympia)
http://www.house.gov/adamsmith/IMA/email.shtml

Rep. Norm Dicks-D 1st District (Tacoma, Bremerton, Olympic Penninsula)
http://www.house.gov/dicks/contact.html

Rep. Cathy McMorris-R 5th District (Spokane, North-Eastern Washington)
http://www.mcmorris.house.gov/contact.shtml

Senator Jeff Bingaman-D New Mexico
senator_bingaman@bingaman.senate.gov

Senator Pete Domenici-R New Mexico
http://domenici.senate.gov/contact/contact.cfm

Senator Edward Kennedy-D Massachusetts
http://kennedy.senate.gov/index_high.html

Senator John Kerry-D Massachusetts (not like he'd care, his senate web site is devoted to the '08 campaign already)
http://kerry.senate.gov/v3/contact/email.html

Don't delay!

I don't get it. what is a Lance Face?
Is it a:
Two-face?
Lying out the side of your mouth face?
Face you put on when telling your wife who supported you through cancer you want a divorce face?
A face you practiced in front of the mirror so you can *truthfully* tell the world you didn't use steroids?
A "I fool the naive" face?

I need to know.

Ok. So at the risk of putting up a post that gets no comments like the post two down from this one, I'm going to do Oliphant a favor and see if anyone wants to do a MLB fantasy league. Anybody want to?

African Child Loves His ‘World Champion Seahawks’ T-Shirt

February 9, 2006 | Onion Sports

KAMPALA, UGANDA—10-year-old Akello Semesseke, wearing the new "World Champion Seattle Seahawks" T-shirt given to him Tuesday by an anonymous NFL-licensed promotions manufacturer, expressed his gratitude for the gift while admitting he was not familiar with the sport of American football. "The Seahawks must be as generous of heart as they are victorious on the field of whatever sport they play to share their clothing with us," said Semesseke, whose entire village was given one each of the teal and gray shirts, with one exception. "My father refused his new shirt," Semesseke explained, "because although he did need one, he felt it would be disrespectful to the World Champion Eagles, who kindly gave him both a shirt and cap last year." Semesseke added that if the Seahawks had included 80 cents a day along with the shirt, he could eat.

Stop bitching Colby. Here is a photo from the recent cold snap, one of the warmer days as well.
Anyone want to visit now that you don't need a visa?

So yeah - the weather's great. Don't listen to all those reports about that Nor'Easter hammering New York and Boston. Everything here is fine....

UPDATE: My lights just flickered - This would be ultra-shitty if my power went out....

After spending the game and some dinner tonight in Seattle, I started home. On my drive home, on a pleasntly warm, clear, calm evening, I was finding myself rocking out to this song on the radio. I had heard the song before (awhile ago) but I couldn't remember who sang it. So when I looked up and saw that it was "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters, I was surprised--I have never rocked out to a Foo Fighters' song before. I was like, "man Dave Grohle really is rocking out this one!" Then I thought to myself, "Dave Grohle was in Nirvana, he is a real rockstar--like Paul McCartney--still famous after his initial gigantic sucess with another band!" Then I was thinking, "the worst Nirvana song was better than this song, which is the best song of Foo Fighters in my opinion.." At that point I got bummed out and changed the channel.

So the White Sox won the World Series. That's shitty enough, especially since I was at Fenway Park when the Curious George team won the clincher (why do I say Curious George? Because they suddenly become a "power hitting" team in the playoffs when they relied on winning games in the regular season 0.75-0...but I digress).

Anyway - Ozzie Guillen, Bobby Jenks and others from the White Sox are not going to be in attendance when the White Sox visit the White House. I don't know about any of you, but if I (a native citizen of the US) were invited to the White House.... I go to the White House - no matter who I'm meeting in the Oval Office.

Guillen, who just became a naturalized US citizen (he was previously Venezuelean), decided that his vacation comes before meeting the most powerful man on the planet, and that just grinds my gears. He claims that the White House has changed the date twice, thus throwing his travel plans askew. I don't buy it. If you're really an American, you genuinly wanted to be there and you're invited to meet your President, you go... even if that trip with the 25-footer from Paulsbo RV to Westport has been booked for two months.

There is going to be a cameo appearance by Stumpy this weekend. I am trying to get something organized for Saturday night. So.....WHO"S IN?

These arem't subtle, so all of us idiots--not named Colby or Black--will get them. These are 2 of the 12 cartoons that were published last year in the Danish paper. This is what all the rioting is all about. Stupid, just stupid.

Again.

Said the unnamed Seahawks fan

This is a pretty funny bud light commercial that didn't quite make it to the small screen.

http://www.break.com/superbowl/bannedbudlight.html

I thought this was too good to pass up, and we can all put it in the Prius that we all drive and spray paint it on our poodles!! FUCK PISSBURGH!!!

I know, I know. I've heard it before. I am an emotional fan, ask Paulson what I did after the NFC Championship game. I am like the King of Siam, I've guaranteed victories for the Huskies when I was in Eugene, etc., etc., etc. But something is different about this weekend and, I believe, all of Seattle feels it too. I am sure in Pittsburgh they are already toasting the Steelers as Superbowl Champs even as I write. Here in Seattle something feels different. It is almost like we are trying to keep a secret from all these people that we're dying to tell. Lauren and I just went out to Belltown tonight, and although people were wearing the jerseys and having a good time, it was not unlike any other night in Downtown. Are we superstitious? Are we expecting less than the Steelers fans? Not at all. I really think that there is a quiet confidence in this city right now and no one wants to burst the bubble.

All week long I've listened, read, and watched pundits, experts and the like predict a Pittsburgh win. But these same people who profess to know so much don't have a clue who the Seahawks are. I do. I went to 8 home games this year and watched the rest at home. All the so called experts have is a sampling of this year's team stats to make a prediction, they don't know what this team is capable of. I admit, I only watched 2 1/2 Pittsburgh games this season. From what I saw, they are a hell of a team. But I have read everything I can about the Steelers; unlike the Seahawks, the national media knows exactly who this team is. They have a tough D, run the ball, and have opened up the playbook for Rothlisburger the last few weeks.

SO THE FUCK WHAT?!?!

All the weaknesses that the "experts" say will cause the Seahawks to lose are not really weaknesses at all.

1. One dimensional running team. This is the stupidest thing I've heard all week that the 'Hawks are a one dimensional running team. We in Seattle all know the best player on the field (both teams) is Walter......Matt Hasselbeck.

2. Steelers have more experience. I read an article on ESPN today from Len Pasquierelli that points out we have more Superbowl experience on our inactive roster than the Steelers do on their whole team.

3. The Seahawks had the easiest schedule and luckily beat the tough teams. Oliphant and I agree: this is the biggest piece of bullshit in the NFL. A. the 'Hawks beat every team they were supposed to(besides GB) B. The Giants, Cowboys, Eagles and Colts weren't as close as they appeared. C. I am tired of fucking typing, it's 1:21 am--we're going to win the Superbowl!!

Why is Seattle so even keeled? Because we don't want to let the cat out of the bag. We are going to destroy the Steelers on Sunday! No ifs ands or buts about it. It may be called the worst Superbowl of all time because we will win and the national media will hate it, but fuck them and the horse they rode in on! I am going to roll a car over (not mine) and set it on fine in Pioneer Square on Sunday night with all my 'Hawk brothers and sing Louie Louie until Tuesday! Why? Because I deserve it!

Giving Seattle The Needle

Rick Reilly
6 February 2006 Sports Illustrated

Okay, Seattle, grab a grande, skinny, no-foam, half-caf EspressoMacchiato and let me explain why the Pittsburgh Steelers are going togrind you up like a Sumatra blend in Super Bowl XL.

You suck at sports.

You always have. You make nice motherboards, but you're dweebier thanFrasier Crane's wine club. You've had the big three pro sports for 30years now--almost 40 for the NBA--and you have one lousy championship toshow for it. Uno. The 1978 Seattle SuperSonics. My God, you people havefewer parades than Venice.

What's amazing is, you do college sports even worse. In the 70 yearsthat a mythical national championship has been awarded in collegefootball, the University of Washington has one half of one title: in1991 (with Miami). Zippo in basketball, baseball, track or field. O.K.,the Huskies are good at crew (three women's titles, one men's).Wonderful. Somewhere, three salmon cheer.

Your most famous athlete is a horse, Seattle Slew. Your most famousathletic moment was Bo Jackson's turning the Boz's chest into a welcomemat on Monday Night Football. Your greatest contribution to sports wasthe Wave, the fan-participation stunt that screams to the world, "Wehave no idea what the score is!"

And do you know why you stink, Seattle? Because ..

1. You're too damn nice.Look at your Seahawks. Your MVP halfback, Shaun Alexander, teaches kidschess. Your scariest player is named Pork Chop. My God, last week, youoffered valet parking service to reporters at Seahawks headquarters.(Seattle fans: If you see valet parking at Detroit's Ford Field thisweek, they're trying to steal your car.)

Nearly every five-dollar-steak-tough athlete who comes to Seattleleaves--Gary Payton and Randy Johnson for instance. Consider Seattle'stwo favorite athletes--Steve Largent and Fred Couples. Those guyswouldn't complain if somebody extinguished a Cohiba in their ears. Yoursportswriters are more forgiving than Hillary Clinton. If they coveredJeffrey Dahmer, they'd refer to him as "a people person."

You Seattle fans don't just accept mediocrity. You crave it. You supportyour boys come hell or low water. You show up at the rate of threemillion a year for the Mariners, who never fail to let you down. Eventhe stadium sounds cuddly: Safeco Field. You pack the house for theunderachieving SuperSonics, led by the NBA's nicest loser, Ray Allen.Your Seahawks went 21 years without a playoff win, and the fans didn'tso much as clear their throats. Everybody just goes, "Well, that wasfun. Let's kayak!" Hey, you can't spell Seattle without settle.

The whole town is 100% June Cleaver. I once walked into Nordstrom, theSeattle-based department store, and sheepishly asked if I could bringback a shirt I'd bought a month before in another town. The clerk said,"Sir, this is Nordstrom. You could wear it for 10 years, throw up on itand roll down a mountain in it and we'd take it back." Ask that atNeiman Marcus and they call security.

It ain't happening. Walruses don't do triple Salchows, and Seattle teamsdon't win titles.

2. You're too damn geeky.

Your owner, Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen, looks like the kid in highschool who always got taped to the goalposts. If Allen wins, will hecall all his friends from band camp? Throw his slide rule into the air?Plot his joy on a scatter chart?

Look, your average Seahawks fan drives a Prius. Your average Steelersfan drives a Ford Excursion, which has Priuses in its tire treads.Seahawks fans own poodles. Steelers fans eat them.

3. You're too damn wet.

Seattle is a great place if you happen to be mold. It just rained 27straight days and it wasn't even a record. Seattle is basically a lot ofguys waiting for a bus with rain starting to seep into their socks. Mostkids are seven years old before they realize the umbrella is not anextension of the right arm. No wonder most great athletes leave. KenGriffey Jr. left, basically saying, "I want my kid to be able to playoutside once in a while."

In short, you people are too damn peaceful and happy in your EmeraldCity. You ever know anybody from Pittsburgh? You want this Super Bowl.Pittsburgh needs it. You're going to get smoked like a platter of smelt.

(But do you mind if we come live there?)

This is one of the dumbest things that I have ever heard. Apparently a man has discovered that listening to his iPod at an abnormally high volume can damage your hearing. Wow, this is news to me! I hope that he gets every penny that he is seeking in the law suit.

In this picture, it looks like Jeremy is asking the question, "What's the deal?" And that's a good question, because someone has been noticeably absent from the blog the last few days.

So I'll pose another question:

Where the fuck are you, Phipps? What's the fucking deal?!? You too good for us? HUH?!?

Alright. I think it would be pretty cool if we got a pony keg. Who is in? The only think that could make the party cooler would be a superbowl win and colby not being invited/present.

....you should see how excited he was to find out Pozin was bringing shit sandwiches to the party.

Think I'm a fair weather fan? I've been waiting for this my whole life!



GO SEAHAWKS!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!