I'd like to give a big bendermenz round of applause to the future first Pi Kapp from the AD chapter to hopefully graduate Harvard Business School (or be kicked out for sucking off a teacher for good grades). Prewett, your generosity in willingly to single-handedly pay for the hole sponsorship at the Alumni tournament today was amazing. I hope someday the Bendermenz Men can repay you for your kindness. Unfortunately, that day is not today. or anytime in the next four months.

Check out this article! Your thoughts??

Keith Jackson reportedly says he's retiring

NEW YORK (AP) - Keith Jackson thinks this is the right time for him to retire.
Jackson, widely regarded as the voice of college football, has decided to stop broadcasting games, The New York Times reported Thursday.

"I'm finished with play-by-play forever," he told the newspaper.

________________________________________________________

He'd better stick to that promise. Keith Jackson absolutely sucks. I'd rather listen to Gilbert Godfree recite War & Peace in pig latin than hear this guy discuss football. Any chance Dan Fouts can announce he plans to douse himself in gasoline and light a match?

I know the NBA Playoffs isn't in the minds of many Seattle fans, but do yourself a favor if you haven't tuned in yet. I caught the Phoenix-Lakers' game two tonight and it was pretty entertaining. The scheduling is all stretched out and shitty, but the games have been pretty good.

If anyone caught a clip of Kobe's one-handed throw-down on a Phoenix defender, followed up with him hanging on the rim one-handed, you would agree with me that it was one for the ages. Love him or hate him, Kobe is a freak! He does stuff that only Jordan had done before! He and Jordan may be completely different players mentally, but he is every part his equal athletically.

LeBron has also had an amazing playoffs! Have you seen his new Nike add campaign? It's all about how we're all witnesses to his greatness. I little arrogant--typical Nike--but it is pretty cool, nonetheless.

And if you love the Sonics, watching the playoffs has an added bonus: if we show that we are a die-hard NBA fan-base (not just Sonics' fans, but true NBA fans) we will definitely prove to the NBA brass that we are indeed a strong fan base and that we need to be taken care of. Perhaps not, but it's just a theory.

http://www.break.com/index/bush9.html

Enjoy a short compilation of our fearless leader's finer moments!

2006 Release of Bob's Brown Ale
Also on the horizon - here's a little pre-announcement regarding our annual release of Bob's Brown Ale. It's exactly one month away! The official release date is May 14th, but since that's Mother's Day and you should be drinking beer with your mom and not us, we've scheduled our official release party for Monday, May 15th at the Nickerson St. Saloon. More details to follow, but we guarantee that we'll bring more Bob's than last year since we drained the keg in 45 minutes. 100% of the proceeds collected by the Nickerson and Georgetown Brewing go to benefit the Seattle Ronald McDonald House in honor of our friend Bob Hirsch. The Nickerson St. Saloon can be found at 318 Nickerson Street, 98109, the south end of the Fremont Bridge just west of lake union.For those of you who are not familiar with Bob's, please visit http://www.georgetownbeer.com/products/index.html#bob for more info. Also visit www.rmhcseattle.org/about.php It is an amazing organization run by big hearted people that provides virtually free housing for families while their children are being treated at Children's Hospital.

Manny also let us know that there will be a release of a red ale this fall! Oh how I love that man's... beer.

What did you pick, Prewett?

"Stumpy likes group sex"?

It's been just over a year since Mitch passed - He is still sorely missed.

From the Go2Guy (who sucks, I know, but this is a great quote, after all...):

"I never thought I'd see the day where there was less than 20,000," said utility man Willie Bloomquist. "(Tuesday night) was the first time I've walked out for a game and gone, 'Wow.' It's a little odd being able to hear conversations with fans."
"Really?" I wondered. "What did they say?"

"You (expletive) suck, Bloomquist!" Bloomquist said.

And by the way Brian, 20 games does not a season make. But, just for fun, let's make some other conclusions we can make thus far: (cue In The Year 2000 music from Conan O'Brien)

• Chris Shelton will hit 91 home runs, shattering Barry Bonds' record set in 2001. Albert Pujols will beat him to the punch, however, bashing 108 of his own. In addition to his home run record, Shelton will also go on to hit .426 for the rest of his career.

• The Kansas City Royals will win 23 games, outpacing the Cleveland Spiders by 3 games. The New York Mets will win 118 games, carrying a .733 winning percentage throughout the season.

• Andruw Jones will drive in 232 runs. Hack Wilson spins in his grave.

• Curt Schilling goes 43-0 with a 1.41 ERA. In a season-ending thriller at Fenway, Cy Young rises from the dead to pitch for the Orioles, attempting to deal Schilling his first loss of the season. The Red Sox win 3-0, with Schilling going the distance, fanning 14. Later, on WEEI, Schilling calls in to the Dennis & Callahan morning show to tell Boston listeneners "...what an idiot that Cy Young assclown is."
  

• Adrian Beltre continues to channel the ghosts of Jeff Cirillo and Roger Dorn to hit .200. (Not a joke.)
  

The key is to not freak out about things that happen early in the season and focus on the long haul. Just because Richie Sexson strikes out a few times in one game doesn't mean that he's going to be this bad for the rest of the season. I know that you're all intelligent to know this already, but I just wanted to make sure that this wasn't the case.

Regression to the mean always happens, at one time or another. If you don't believe me, look at Bret Boone's 2001 or 2003 seasons, then his 2004 and 2005 seasons. You'll freak!

So today while I was watching Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre turn Kevin Millwood into Nolan Ryan, I decided to look at the stats entering tonight's game.

The Mariners have played 15 games. So far:

Richie Sexson: 20 strikeouts - 1.333 k/game
Adrian Beltre: 14 strikeouts - .933 k/game

if each of these players keeps their pace up and plays the same number of games as last year....

Richie Sexson breaks the strikeout record with 208
Adrian Beltre strikes out only 146 times

In case you are wondering why the Mariners suck, this year Beltre makes 12.9 million and Sexson (from here forward known as Suckson) makes 13 million. Oh. And they signed (Hot)Carl Everett. and their "aces" are more than 20 years apart in age.

OK, we need to get this set, vote for 2 of the following slogans and then we will have a final vote.

If You Can't Beat Bendermenz, Join Bendermenz
Welcome to Bendermenz Country
Bendermenz makes it feel like it's 72 degrees in your head all the time
To our brother, Andy 1980-2006"
"Bendermenz: a self-esteem house of cards"

Since our heroic triumph over "Team Paul Hansen" is less than two weeks away, is anyone up for a round on Saturday? It is pretty much guaranteed not to rain/hail/be cold as nuts, so we could have a good time.

For those of you on "Team 3 Pi Kapps, a non-member, and four drinking problems," maybe we all should go to the range thursday night.

Ok, if we still want to sponsor a hole at the golf tournament, I came across a website that generates slogans with a word that you provide. So naturally, "Bendermenz" was used. Here's some of what has been found so far...
(some are better than others)

-I Can't Believe It's Not Bendermenz
-Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's bendermenz
-Life's Pretty Straight Without Bendermenz
-Bendermenz Prevents That Sinking Feeling
-Marvin the Mountie Always Gets His Bendermenz
-A Bendermenz Work Is Never Done
-Bendermenz Teaches Success
-Snap Into A Bendermenz
-Have a Bendermenz and Smile
-Uh-Oh, Better Get Bendermenz
-I Am Stuck On Bendermenz, 'Cause Bendermenz Stuck On Me
-Bendermenz Is Good For You

...and my favorite, "If You Can't Beat Bendermenz, Join Bendermenz"

Before the game today (which kicked ass), I had a chance to informally pick Mariner pitching coach Rafael Chaves' brain about some of the guys on the staff and how things are going.

I posted it as a diary over on Lookout Landing. If you don't go there to read up on the Mariners regularly, you had better get after it. Jeff (the guy who runs the show over there) has got some pretty sweet recaps about each game along with his take about each night. Good stuff.

Hint........Here is an excerpt from this Pi Kapp's MySpace: I'm a 2nd year student at Tufts Dental School in Boston. I like the nightlife, I like to boogie! I'm hip, I'm cool, I'm with it.....and dog gonnit people like me!! And if you know me....well then I guess you knew that already. I also like to play sports and stay in shape!

Guess who

So I got an email today from MySpace.com for a new friend request. Ladies and gentlemen the friend was none other than this guy:








Mr. Joe Schomer!

Good to see he's looking badass per usual. I am pleased he found me and continues to think of me as his friend. Man was he one hell of a basketball player or what?

Nice dresses boys. Now it all becomes clear.

They do have some cool pi kap camp out pictures posted here.

http://community.webshots.com/slideshow?ID=549167308&key=gxYcOz

Hey, I just thought of this... Why don't we all go out for a steak dinner during the week sometime soon? Doesn't have to be anything fancy, just some place like Jak's. I would be great to get everyone together for a guy's night out! Who's in? I think this is a great idea!

Olistump by Blair

If you want to own a piece of history, check this out!!!

Who is in for a lane?

Also lots of other good stuff available!!

Since four of us are Bendermen, I figure we get to be it for the Alpha Delta Cup.
Golf, at Trilogy, on Saturday afternoon. you three in?

Published yesterday on MLB.com, exhibiting the MENSA-like intelligence of M's fans:

What happened to pitcher Ryan Franklin? I've heard nothing about him in the offseason and he's not back this year.
-- Ruby H., Everett, Wash.

Either hardly anybody writes in to the Mariner Mailbag or the weak-ass Mariner fan-base is really stupid.

UPDATE: I don't know if this reflects poorly on Dan Wilson or on the idiocy of the M's fan-base:

I voted for "work in the community" as a joke - I didn't know that it would beat out clutch hitting!



Links:
Lookout Landing
USSMariner.com

Hey Guys,
I haven't seen all of you for awhile, which sucks for all of us. So I was thinking we could do some sort of Bendermenz@bendermenz.com steak night sometime soon. Doesn't need to be too fancy, just some place like Jak's or something. What do you guys think?

Roommates by Blair

Asspony by Blair

For you guys with girlfriends or wives, save this sucker for when she is mad at you. Break it out and let her know how you really feel!!

So I'm watching St. Louis and Chicago yesterday, and an old friend stepped to the plate in the pitcher's spot.

That's right friends, that man was none other than Scott "The Human Wasteland" Spiezio. But now, sporting an extreme fire engine red goatee/flavor saver/imitation of female pubic hair.

Predictably, Spiezio struck out swinging futily at a slider low and away. I wonder if anybody's actually sat him down to let him know that he's only embarassing himself by attempting to play. If you want to play so badly, go to Cancun and play for the Lobstermen.

Can we make like a box in the upper corner of the blog where we can put up a picture of the current geek of the week? We could post the story below it. Maybe the blog needs some improvements to gain more interest. In the comments sections of this post let us discuss other ways to improve/upgrade the blog. Be serious for once.

Hey Blair. Is gout communicable as an STD? because my hands and fingers are really stiff.

Here's a little cartoon I call, Asspony. Enjoy!

Hey everybody. As you all know, the Mariners start their season today at 2 pm. To celebrate, I am inviting everyone to my and Black's apartment to watch the game. Free beer. You have no excuse for not being there.

In case you hadn't heard, Internet über-celebrity Maddox has written a book to be released in June. It's called The Alaphabet of Manliness, so Jason and Brian definitely need to get their immaculately manicured and moisturized hands on them. Currently, it's #1 on Amazon.com. I'm not going to buy it, but I'll borrow it from somebody that does.

I was reading an article on the Seattle Times and it seems that a harmless pot head recently killed a handfull, plus a few fingers, of people on Capitol Hill. He spent his days "'just floundering in his own life...' said Seattle police Detective Capt. Tag Gleason. The investigation so far has shown that Kyle Huff's days were mostly spent in front of the television, often smoking pot, at night, he delivered pizzas — when he had a job — or wandered alone...through bars and clubs." Now this reminds me of Trudeau a few years back, so be on the look out...they even look a little alike (minus the goth shit and all).

Apparently pot heads aren't mellow anymore. What has Seattle become?